So don’t tempt me with your soft darkness
There’s something sinking in my lost little conscience

You lie there trying not to move anymore
Your hideous voice is bellowing through the floor
Big pounding fear, you can’t get your own words out of your head
You just want to die but you’re too weak, you drink yourself to sleep instead

An icy wind
You breathe it in
You’re choking on
A woebegone grin
Your chilly lung
Is where the musician strums
There’s something else,
It’s where your heart hung

A single microphone
Is strung up on its own
You sing into the noose
It’s what you’re used to now
Everybody’s gone
Your single bloody swan down
In the murky lake
Now all you do is wait
Until she flutters a wing
And with a shudder we sing
An ancient misery
Of all the people we
Bled in front of whom
Now in a different room
Stiff stucco dividing our doomsdays
You wanna open us up
Kick down every door
You plead to press your solid bones
Against a hard wood floor
And there’s really nothing more (to it)
Let’s face it, every nobody dreams of a dry division from it
You wanna cut yourself up, cut you off from the rest of it all,
Ontologic separation is your geographic dislocation, it’s your goal
But don’t fall from your newfound grace,
Just build a big wall around your little face
And dream up a distant new definition for your own little soul-space

An icy wind
You breathe it in
You’re choking on
A woebegone grin
Your chilly lung
Is where the musician strums
There’s something else,
It’s where your heart hung

Like you’ve got one at all,
Like you’d know how to install one
If you every actually saw one
Burning under a tall, beating sun
Beat your little drum of indifference
And disregard your apathetic inheritance
Your genetic obnoxiousness
From that great burning father
Away from whom you uselessly wander
Futile endeavor, fruitless encounter with blandness and blather
Now you’re a world apart from the talons of Big Other
You’ve built yourself your very own birth-mother
So dream your silent stolen thoughts
And starve your little brother for whatever he’s got
There’s nothing nice to tell yourself now,
And the walls around you haven’t got a way out to get to
Cuz you’ve got no womb to spill open outward
You’ve got no name to spell backward
You’re writing in code, but the messages all fall away from it
You don’t need to feel a way, cuz you can’t always glance sideways at it
Doesn’t mean you’re dumb,
But you’ll never be stupid enough
Just stupidly rough, when you tell yourself
That you live a world a part from everybody else
That you tear up its torn-apartness
That you alone listen up when it speaks of its own silence
Misery bleeds like a diabetic,
But your so-called mystery breathes like an asthmatic
Your artificial new-life has fallen ill,
But you still press on, with your stubborn will power,
Bull dozing through every faint hearted hour of the day
With your silent decisions that nobody sees,
And you blandly, placidly pray, to leave your own hell
You ask yourself, May I please be excused,
Will you please exclude me from falling on my knees,
There’s nothing left for me to need
And there’s nothing I haven’t felt the need to plead for
So honestly, I’m only genuinely begging for an opportunity to die fighting
For something to fight for
I only want to live on in peace with nothing to live for peacefully
I only want to shake off my stupid and gleefully heart-broken
Mindset of unspoken sympathy for only every part of me
That hasn’t fallen a part, due in part to my own stupid lazy and brainless
Attempts to better my babyishness, wholly and once and for all,
I don’t want to crawl anymore
So please just let me lay on this goddamn floor

For lack of a better world,
I’m tearing this one apart
Heart from bloody, deranged heart

Flatlands and flatliners
Abbreviated lunatics
Dust colored attics
And broken-off broom handles
Moth covered comforters
And mole hills out of mountains
A chilly kind of rage,
Until the page is turned
And the moth eaten paperback
Is burned, on principle
Cuz everyone is invincible
But our strength is invisible
I’m only perfect,
And nobody’s human
But a beautiful woman
Is crying in her own blood
So keep me in your prayers,
Soul slayer,
And make a mountain out of my only bloody son